FIFA's Peace Prize is just the Beginning: Five More Awards Trump Should Win
The news that Donald Trump has finally won a peace prize from FIFA, an organization renowned for its impeccable ethics, should come as no surprise. After all, who else but Trump could single-handedly usher in world peace? In reality, though, the Fifa peace prize is little more than a desperate attempt to flatter Trump's ego, and we can expect to see a trend of organisations and corporations bestowing outlandish awards upon him to get on his good side.
In that spirit, here are five more awards Trump should win:
Firstly, the Volkswagen Golf award. As Trump has sparked numerous comparisons with one particular German head of state – Hitler – it's only fair that he receives recognition for his supposed "heritage". The fact that Volkswagen has lost over £1 billion due to Trump's US import tariffs is simply a bonus.
Next up is the Big Cheese trophy for making America grate again. France, in particular, needs to butter Trump up with an accolade that makes him feel like a grand fromage. Who knows? Maybe he'll even start eating more cheese – or at least pretending to.
Thirdly, there's the Humpty Dumpty prize for eggcellence in the American language. Trump's verbal dexterity is unmatched, and his ability to coin phrases like "truthful hyperbole" and "covfefe" is truly remarkable. It's time to acknowledge this linguistic genius with a literary award that would make even Lewis Carroll proud.
Fourthly, the Energizer Bunny trophy for battery conservation is long overdue. Trump's age – 79 – means he needs all the energy he can get, particularly when it comes to sharing his thoughts on Truth Social. This award will help him power through even the most grueling sessions of tweeting.
Lastly, there's the American Gas Association award for lighting the way. With a career spanning decades, Trump has illuminated the world with his unique brand of leadership – whether you agree with it or not. Who better to receive an award that celebrates the power of gas than the man who seems to thrive on controversy?
So, there you have it – five awards that Trump should win, if only to satirize the absurdity of the situation. Will any of these accolades actually make him feel good about himself? Probably not, but hey, a journalist can dream.
The news that Donald Trump has finally won a peace prize from FIFA, an organization renowned for its impeccable ethics, should come as no surprise. After all, who else but Trump could single-handedly usher in world peace? In reality, though, the Fifa peace prize is little more than a desperate attempt to flatter Trump's ego, and we can expect to see a trend of organisations and corporations bestowing outlandish awards upon him to get on his good side.
In that spirit, here are five more awards Trump should win:
Firstly, the Volkswagen Golf award. As Trump has sparked numerous comparisons with one particular German head of state – Hitler – it's only fair that he receives recognition for his supposed "heritage". The fact that Volkswagen has lost over £1 billion due to Trump's US import tariffs is simply a bonus.
Next up is the Big Cheese trophy for making America grate again. France, in particular, needs to butter Trump up with an accolade that makes him feel like a grand fromage. Who knows? Maybe he'll even start eating more cheese – or at least pretending to.
Thirdly, there's the Humpty Dumpty prize for eggcellence in the American language. Trump's verbal dexterity is unmatched, and his ability to coin phrases like "truthful hyperbole" and "covfefe" is truly remarkable. It's time to acknowledge this linguistic genius with a literary award that would make even Lewis Carroll proud.
Fourthly, the Energizer Bunny trophy for battery conservation is long overdue. Trump's age – 79 – means he needs all the energy he can get, particularly when it comes to sharing his thoughts on Truth Social. This award will help him power through even the most grueling sessions of tweeting.
Lastly, there's the American Gas Association award for lighting the way. With a career spanning decades, Trump has illuminated the world with his unique brand of leadership – whether you agree with it or not. Who better to receive an award that celebrates the power of gas than the man who seems to thrive on controversy?
So, there you have it – five awards that Trump should win, if only to satirize the absurdity of the situation. Will any of these accolades actually make him feel good about himself? Probably not, but hey, a journalist can dream.
. Can't we focus on actual making the world a better place instead of trying to give out silly awards to people who aren't exactly known for their kindness or integrity? It's like, what's next? A Nobel Prize in Twitter Feuds?
But seriously, what's next? Is everyone just gonna start giving out awards to get on his good side? 
It feels like they're trying to flatter him or something.
That's hilarious! And an American Gas Association award for lighting the way? 
I guess you could say he's been lighting up a lot of conversations lately... some good, some bad.
He's always saying how he's above all this stuff, so I'm not holding my breath. Still, it's entertaining to watch the absurdity unfold.
and I'm low-key excited to see the Trump trophy for most creative use of commas 
his verbal sparring skills are always entertaining 
but seriously, who else is gonna give him awards like this? Volkswagen deserves a prize too btw for losing so much $$$ 
over his tariffs 
. Like it's gonna change anything with Trump at the helm. Next thing you know, they'll be awarding him a Nobel Prize... or better yet, a participation trophy for showing up 
. And don't even get me started on the Volkswagen Golf award - what's next? A lifetime supply of Covfefe mugs? The fact that Trump has somehow managed to make France roll its eyes is a win for someone, I guess 
. At least the Energizer Bunny trophy makes sense, since he does seem to run on fumes most of the time 
.
. Newsflash: we've got better ways to spend our time and money than giving out awards to Trump 