Asking Eric: She shows up late and then teases me for being uptight about time

When a friend with ADHD constantly shows up late or misses events, it can be frustrating and affect your own stress levels. You may feel like you're shouldering the responsibility of keeping the friendship on track, while your friend seems to be coasting along, relying on reminders from others to even show up.

The key is not to demand strict punctuality but to communicate that mutual support is essential for any healthy relationship. Instead of scolding or lecturing, try to initiate a conversation about what's working and what's not. Acknowledge your friend's ADHD diagnosis and express empathy while also reiterating the importance of being there for you.

For instance, if your friend shows up late again, you could say something like: "Hey, I know you're running behind schedule, but I've got a lot on my plate right now. Could we touch base before the event so I can get an update on your plans?" This approach still conveys that communication is vital while also giving your friend space to manage their time.

It's also essential to recognize that every friendship goes through seasons, and it may be worth having an honest conversation with your friend about what you both need at this moment. Educating yourself on ADHD can help you better understand your friend's challenges and find ways to support each other more effectively.

When it comes to relationships like the one you're experiencing with family members who have moved away, communication is just as crucial. Instead of beating around the bush or using passive-aggressive comments, try approaching the conversation with "I" statements that convey how you feel without placing blame. For example, you could say: "Mom, I'm feeling really hurt that you won't be able to join me for my birthday in our country of origin. It feels like a significant date, and having you there would mean so much to me." By expressing your feelings directly, you may find it easier to understand each other's perspectives.

Lastly, don't underestimate the power of creative problem-solving when navigating complex family dynamics. Brainstorming alternative ways to celebrate with family members who can't attend in person could lead to new ideas and strengthen relationships even further.
 
I gotta disagree with this whole "communication is key" vibe πŸ€”. I mean, what's the point of having a convo if you're just gonna end up feeling like you're nagging or enabling your friend's bad habits? Sometimes, people with ADHD need to take responsibility for themselves and their own schedules. We shouldn't be constantly checking in on them like they're lost at sea πŸš£β€β™€οΈ. It's easy to get caught up in feeling sorry for our friends, but what about setting boundaries and expecting them to respect those boundaries too? 🚫 I'd rather have a friend who shows up on time every once in a while than one that's always relying on others to bail them out of trouble 😊.
 
πŸ€” honestly i think its super relatable to feel like u gotta carry ur friend with adhd through the friendship but sometimes u gotta take a step back & have an open convo about it. its not about being strict or uptight, its about findin what works for both of u 🀝

i mean, when my own partner forgets appointments all the time lol i feel like a personal calendar πŸ“… and we have to laugh about it instead of gettin all frustrated. but if they're constantly neglecting plans without even tryin, thats when i know theres a bigger issue πŸ€”

anyway, educatin urself on adhd is key πŸ“š & so r good comms. u gotta be able to see things from ur friend's perspective while also expressin ur own feelings πŸ’¬
 
I'm like soooo worried about my bestie who's always running super late πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ! I get it, ADHD is real, but it's hard not to feel left out when you're the one holding everything together πŸ’Ό. The thing is, I've been talking to her about it and we've come up with this plan where she sends me reminders so I know what to expect πŸ“±. But honestly, sometimes I just want her to be more on top of things, you know? It's like, I'm not asking for much, just a heads up so we can still hang out and make plans that work for both of us πŸ€—. Educating myself on ADHD has been super helpful, btw - it's all about empathy and finding ways to support each other πŸ’•.
 
I gotta disagree πŸ˜’, thinkin' that just 'cause your friend has ADHD, they're off the hook for bein' on time? No way! If you're always gettin' stressed out 'cause they keep showin' up late, don't you think it's only fair to expect 'em to make an effort? Like, set reminders or somethin'? I mean, I know it's not that simple for people with ADHD, but it's still a good idea for them to take responsibility for their own schedule. Can't just rely on others to bail 'em out all the time... that's just not how friendships work πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
 
OMG I feel u on this! I've had friends with ADHD too & it's super frustrating when they don't respect our time, but at the same time, u gotta be understanding πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ. It's not about being perfect, it's about communicating & finding ways to make it work πŸ’‘. My fave part is when it says "recognize that every friendship goes through seasons" - I mean, life changes & priorities shift, so it's all good if we have open conversations πŸ€—.
 
I'm low-key stressed about my friend with ADHD always being late πŸ€―πŸ’¨ Like, I get it, life gets crazy and stuff but it's hard not to feel like you're shouldering all the responsibility 😩. I think we need to have an open convo about what's working and what's not - no scolding or lecturing πŸ’β€β™€οΈ. Instead, let's focus on finding ways to make our friend feel supported 🀝. Like, if they show up late, I'll just ask 'em to touch base before the event so we can get an update πŸ“…. Educating myself about ADHD is a game-changer πŸ“š - now I'm more understanding and I know how to support my friend in better ways πŸ€—.

And when it comes to family members who've moved away, communication is key πŸ’¬. Instead of beating around the bush, let's just have an honest convo using 'I' statements πŸ‘₯. Like, "Mom, I feel really hurt that you can't join me for my birthday" - no need to place blame or be passive-aggressive πŸ˜’.

I'm loving this idea about creative problem-solving πŸŽ‰ - instead of just feeling down about it, let's brainstorm ways to celebrate with family members who can't be there in person πŸŽ‚. It's all about finding new ways to connect and strengthen our relationships πŸ’•!
 
Ugh, just got word that another major oil spill is happening in the Gulf of Mexico 🌊😱 it's gonna take months to clean up and it's gonna be a total disaster for marine life. And on top of that, scientists are predicting a 30% increase in extreme weather events worldwide next year, which means even more devastating natural disasters like hurricanes and wildfires 🀯πŸ”₯
 
Ugh, I feel you πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ! Having a friend with ADHD can be super frustrating, but at the same time, you gotta be understanding πŸ€—. It's not like they're doing it on purpose, right? πŸ™…β€β™€οΈ Like, imagine trying to adult with a constant distraction πŸ“ΊπŸ•°οΈ... no wonder they're running late all the time πŸ˜‚! Anyway, I think the key is just to keep the vibes chill and have an open convo about what's working and what's not 🀝. You don't wanna be too harsh or critical, 'cause that'll just lead to defensiveness 🚫. Just try to find ways to support each other and make it work πŸ‘!
 
😊 I feel like we're all struggling with something at some point, whether it's a friend with ADHD or family members living far away 🌎. It's how we communicate that matters - instead of being frustrated, try to see things from their perspective too 🀝. We don't have to be perfect, but showing up and being present for each other is what truly counts ❀️. And hey, if we can find ways to make celebrating special even when they're not there in person, that's a win in my book! πŸŽ‰
 
omg u no how hard its 2 bfriend with someone whos got adhd lol my friend always shows up late & i get super stressed cuz i gotta plan evrything 4 them i feel like im carryin the load but then i realized ur right we dont hav 2 be all strict about punctuality n stuff we should talk 2 them bout what's workin nd whats not n make sure they no how much it means 2 me wen they dont show up lol its like "hey dont b late, c u l8r" n then we can catch up & make plans that way we can stil be supportive but also have our own time i feel like its a win-win πŸ’‘
 
Ugh I feel you on this one 🀯 I've got a friend who's always canceling plans at the last minute because their cat got a "suddenly rare" allergy attack LOL no but seriously, it's super frustrating when you're left to deal with the consequences. The key is not to get all up in their grill about it, but to have an open and honest conversation about what's working (not much πŸ˜‚) and what's not. I think we need to normalize having imperfect friendships where everyone's gotta be flexible. And can we pls just acknowledge that sometimes life just gets crazy? πŸ€ͺ
 
🀯 I mean, ADHD is just so frustrating when it's affecting your own life πŸ™„ especially when you're trying to plan something together with your friend. You gotta be all understanding and stuff, but at the same time, you can't be like "what's up with you always being late?" because that's just gonna make them feel bad πŸ˜” They need reminders and help staying organized, so maybe you could even help them out by sending a shared calendar invite πŸ“… or something. And omg, don't forget to acknowledge their diagnosis and show empathy, that's like super important πŸ’–
 
🀯 I'm so done with the lack of a built-in "quiet time" feature on our favorite social media platform. Like, can we please just have an option to mute notifications for a few hours without having to leave the app? It's literally one of the most frustrating things about using it daily... 😩
 
πŸ€” it's not about being patient or understanding, it's actually about setting boundaries and prioritizing your own needs πŸ•’οΈ like, if you're constantly running late for every single event, maybe that's not a healthy dynamic in the friendship? i get that adhd is real and all, but constant lateness can be super frustrating 😩 and it's not fair to expect others to always accommodate you. have an open convo about what works and what doesn't, not just about your needs, but also about how your friend feels πŸ€—
 
omg can u believe ppl think ADHD is like, a free pass 2 be late all da time πŸ™„? idk about others but for me its just another thing 2 deal w/ when im tryin 2 hang out w/ friends who r always runnin behind schedule πŸ•°οΈ like cmon people set a reminder or smthn! πŸ˜‚
 
ugh i feel u so much about this!!! like what even is it about ppl thinkin we gotta be all strict & punctual all the time? ADHD or not, ppl need support n care in friendships 2 πŸ‘πŸ» especially when they're strugglin' with organization n time management... it's not just about showin up on time, it's about makin sure u're there 4 ur friend n showin they u care πŸ€—

n anotha ting, fam... communication is KEY!!! don't even get me started on passive-aggressive comments or beatin around the bush... that's just a recipe 4 more stress n drama πŸš«πŸ‘Ž

annd yessss educating yerself on ADHD is EVERYTHING!!! it's not about expectin yer friend 2 b perfect all the time, it's about findin ways 2 support each other thru the ups & downs πŸ€πŸ’–
 
🀯 I feel like people forget that ADHD is not just about being "lazy" or "disorganized". It's a neurodiverse condition that affects how our brains process time, space, and social cues. It's not your friend's fault that they're always running late – it's their brain trying to do the best with what it has! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ And honestly, I think it's kinda refreshing when friends acknowledge this stuff and try to find ways to work together. Communication is key, but we shouldn't shame or lecture our friends for things that are outside of their control. Instead, let's focus on finding solutions that work for everyone. πŸ’‘
 
πŸ€” I'm telling you, there's more to ADHD than meets the eye... like, have you ever wondered why some people are more prone to it? πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Is it just a coincidence that a lot of high-profile figures have been diagnosed with it? πŸ’‘ Like, what if ADHD is actually a result of environmental factors or even government experiments gone wrong? 😳 I know it sounds far-fetched, but think about all the times you've seen people suddenly develop symptoms after taking some kind of medication... 🀯 It's not just about supporting your friend with ADHD, it's about uncovering the truth behind this "condition". πŸ’‘
 
πŸ€” I feel like people with ADHD are already super under supported in their personal lives, so when it comes to friendships it's like they're having to double down on trying to keep everything together. We need to be more understanding and not just expect them to be punctual all the time. It's about finding that balance and being willing to adjust our own plans to accommodate theirs. πŸ•’οΈ
 
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