A young woman, 19, feels disrespected by her father's mother, who has never been a grandmother figure to her despite being biologically hers. The woman recently referred to her by first name and was told it was impolite due to the lack of relationship.
The issue lies with her father, who believes his mother is not taking responsibility for their strained relationship, while she accepts blame only partially.
A 40-year-old single woman writes to Dear Abby about an issue with her parents, who frequently decline invitations to dinner at her home despite living nearby and having the means to visit regularly.
In both cases, the women are fed up with being expected to make sacrifices for their families without reciprocation. The 19-year-old feels she doesn't need to forgive and forget a distant relative, while the 40-year-old wonders if her parents would treat other siblings differently if they were married and had children.
Dear Abby advises the 19-year-old woman to respect her grandmother's title even though there is no relationship, but also not feel obligated to forgive and forget.
For the single woman, Dear Abby suggests that she change her attitude towards family dynamics rather than expecting others to adapt to her needs.
The issue lies with her father, who believes his mother is not taking responsibility for their strained relationship, while she accepts blame only partially.
A 40-year-old single woman writes to Dear Abby about an issue with her parents, who frequently decline invitations to dinner at her home despite living nearby and having the means to visit regularly.
In both cases, the women are fed up with being expected to make sacrifices for their families without reciprocation. The 19-year-old feels she doesn't need to forgive and forget a distant relative, while the 40-year-old wonders if her parents would treat other siblings differently if they were married and had children.
Dear Abby advises the 19-year-old woman to respect her grandmother's title even though there is no relationship, but also not feel obligated to forgive and forget.
For the single woman, Dear Abby suggests that she change her attitude towards family dynamics rather than expecting others to adapt to her needs.
. The 19-year-old's grandma may not have been there for her, so why should she go out of her way to respect the title? And the 40-year-old's parents might be busy or just not making an effort, but that doesn't mean she can't change her own mindset 
. I think it's all about finding a balance and accepting that some people will never be there for us 
.
. I think it's time for them to take a hard look at their own attitude and stop making excuses for not being more present in their daughter's life. Maybe if she was treated equally by her parents, maybe siblings would be treated the same way, regardless of marriage or kids 
i mean like my aunt is literally my fave cuz she's always there for me but dont get me wrong i've had issues with my dad too he can be super controlling & never listens to what i wanna do in life its like i'm still his little girl but i wanna be treated as an adult you know? anyway back to the women on the news their attitude is like wth if they just communicated properly maybe things would be different btw i think the single woman's parents sound super extra they should really try having some fam drama resolution skills lol
. This whole 'respecting your grandmother's title' thing just feels like code for "don't call her by her first name because it's impolite". Newsflash: if you don't feel a connection, why are you expected to? And what about the 40-year-old woman who's tired of being taken advantage of? I think she has every right to wonder if her parents would treat their other kids differently if they were married with kids. It's not just about changing our attitude towards family dynamics, it's about recognizing that we're not doing anything wrong here 
. It's like they're being taken advantage of at home and then expected to put on a happy face for everyone else. I've had experiences like this too, where my family would come over unannounced or expect me to spend money on them without offering anything in return... it gets old after a while 
.
just refusing to call her grandma a certain way? Interesting how society pressures women to take on emotional labor and be more forgiving in these situations 
. anyway, i think dear abbys advice was spot on - we gotta prioritize our own emotional wellbeing & set healthy boundaries 
I got a case of "distant relative" stress here! Like, can't we just be cool with our relatives being, well, relatives? 
My aunt is like that – I'll visit her every year, and she's always on my case about something. Meanwhile, I send her a care package with a $50 gift card to Walmart, and suddenly she's all smiles 
. Guess who gets the credit?
. And yeah, it's weird how Dear Abby advises both of them to change their own attitudes rather than expecting others to adjust... like, shouldn't our parents want to spend time with us just because we're family? 
. And omg, can you even imagine how the 40-year-old feels if she were married and had kids and her parents still didn't make time for her? 