Digested week: Sometimes it feels the clocks do nothing else but go back | Lucy Mangan

The clocks have flipped backwards, a phenomenon that has puzzled and frustrated Lucy Mangan all these years. Every autumn, the clock turns back its hands, stripping us of precious hours. It's an arbitrary ritual, devoid of logic or reason, yet we blindly follow the instructions, conforming to societal norms.

For some reason, it feels like a cruel joke – as if the very fabric of our lives is being manipulated by an invisible force. We're forced to relearn the rhythms of our daily routines, adapting to the new time zones, while our minds struggle to reconcile this arbitrary change with the changing seasons.

The most recent study has shed light on another perplexing aspect of human behavior: women's use of exclamation marks in emails. Research reveals that women tend to use three times as many exclamation marks as men, highlighting the inherent sexism and bias embedded in our digital communication. It seems that women need to be more vocal, more persuasive, and more assertive simply to be perceived as being fairly heard.

On social media, another peculiar trend has emerged – oysters are all the rage. People are enthusiastically devouring these slimy mollusks on camera, much to the horror of most. While some claim that eating oysters is a healthy way to get protein and omega-3s, others see it as a stomach-churning spectacle.

Meanwhile, influencers are taking to the Amazon rainforest to attempt to contact isolated Indigenous tribes. While advocating for their rights, they're oblivious to the potential consequences of disrupting delicate ecosystems and threatening entire populations.

Last but not least, Prince Andrew has lost his royal title and is being stripped of his privileges after revelations surrounding his connections with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. As he struggles to come to terms with his downfall, it's hard not to feel a sense of schadenfreude at the thought of him facing the consequences of his actions.

In conclusion, the world seems to be spinning out of control – where logic meets absurdity, and reason takes a backseat to societal norms. As we navigate these unpredictable times, one thing is certain: nothing makes sense anymore, except perhaps the cyclical nature of time itself.
 
I'm literally dying over this oyster trend 🤣🐚 how do people even think it's a good idea to eat slimy things on camera? and what's with the influencers trying to contact Indigenous tribes in the Amazon? aren't they worried about disrupting their way of life or something? 🌴👥 also, can we talk about Prince Andrew for a second? I mean, who does that? 😂 schadenfreude is definitely in effect here 👑
 
can you believe how some people think? like seriously, who tries to contact isolated tribes on amazon? that's just asking for trouble lol 🙄🌴

and oh boy, prince andrew getting stripped of his title is about time – he was always a bit too 'royally' sketchy 😏. i mean, come on, buddy, you got caught up in some shady stuff and now you're paying the price. schadenfreude much? 🤑

but let's get real for a sec... have you seen those oyster eating vids on instagram? like what even is the appeal of slimy mollusks on camera? i mean, i guess they're good for protein or whatever, but ugh, no thanks 🤢.

and don't even get me started on the whole exclamation mark thing... like, can we just have a conversation without feeling like we need to use all caps and punctuation marks everywhere? 🙃
 
i'm so done with how our society operates 🤯🕰️ clock change is like, totally arbitrary, right? like, why do we have to go back in time when it's already dark outside? and don't even get me started on the whole oyster trend... slimy little buggers 😷 can we just stick to a balanced diet for once? 🥗

anyway, i'm also kinda curious about how our language habits reflect our biases. like, why do women have to be more vocal in emails than men? shouldn't everyone just communicate clearly and respectfully? 💁‍♀️👩

and can we please talk about the Amazon rainforest? it's getting crazier by the day 🌴 i mean, i get that influencers wanna help people, but come on, let's think of the consequences before we go charging in like a bunch of wild mustangs 🐎

as for prince andrew... well, i'm not gonna lie, schadenfreude is kinda my jam 😏 sorry, not sorry.
 
I'm so over this whole clock flipping backwards thing 🕰️😒 it's just like, what even is the point? We're already struggling to find meaning in life with all the drama and chaos out there... I mean, have you seen the oyster trend on Instagram lately? 😂🦐 people are literally eating those slimy buggers for fun! And don't even get me started on Prince Andrew's whole Epstein debacle... schadenfreude much? 🤣👑 meanwhile, women are still expected to speak up and be heard in a world that's pretty much #NotListening 👂💬
 
I'm totally over this clock flipping backwards thing 🕰️♀️. Like, what's the point? It's just a bunch of unnecessary hassle. And don't even get me started on women and exclamation marks 🤯... I mean, can we not just have a civil conversation without being told to be more assertive? 💁‍♀️

And oysters, seriously? 🦐 Who thought that was a good idea? It's just a stomach-churning spectacle. And influencers going after Indigenous tribes? 🌴 No thanks. It's like they think they're some kind of saviors or something.

As for Prince Andrew... yeah, let him have his schadenfreude 😏. He should've thought twice before befriending a convicted sex offender. Karma's a beautiful thing! 👑

But honestly, what really gets me is how we just accept these things as normal 🤷‍♀️. Like, what happened to critical thinking? Where's the logic in all this? 🤔 I'm just waiting for someone to come along and flip the script on our absurd world... until then, I'll just be over here, questioning everything 😒
 
I'm so over this whole clock thing 🕰️! Like, can't we just stick with one rhythm for once? It's not that hard to adjust, right? But no, society has us trapped in this never-ending cycle of "oh wait, it's 3 pm now, but technically it's still winter". And don't even get me started on the oysters 🦪. Who thought eating slimy sea creatures on camera was a good idea? I mean, I love a good plate of oysters as much as the next person, but gotta respect personal boundaries, you know?

And what's with all these influencers going into the Amazon to "help" isolated tribes? Like, are they even doing that or just getting some sick Instagram pics? 📸 Either way, it's just another example of how clueless we can be when it comes to respecting other cultures and their ways. At least Prince Andrew got what was coming to him 👑... schadenfreude is real!
 
🕰️ I'm telling you, this clock flipping backwards thingy is just the tip of the iceberg. Have you noticed how they're always adjusting the clocks by 1 hour but never 2? It's like they're trying to keep us in a state of confusion. And don't even get me started on these oysters 🥋. I mean, who thought it was a good idea to film themselves eating slimy mollusks on camera? Sounds like some kind of social media experiment to me 😂. And what's with all these influencers going into the Amazon rainforest? They're just poking their noses where they don't belong. 🌴 It's like we're living in a simulation or something... 🤯
 
Ugh, can't believe we still have to deal with this crazy clock flipping backwards every autumn 🤯🕰️ It's like the world just decided to be all unpredictable and stuff. And don't even get me started on how annoying it is to relearn our daily routines every year 🙄.

And what's up with oysters being a thing right now? 🥘 I mean, I know some people might think they're healthy or whatever, but come on, who wants to eat slimy mollusks on camera? 🤮 And have you seen the influencers trying to contact Indigenous tribes in the Amazon rainforest? Like, what's next? Going on a safari to find a new type of exotic fruit to post about on Instagram? 🌴

And poor Prince Andrew... schadenfreude all the way for him 😏. I mean, who does that kinda stuff and thinks they can just waltz back into society with their royal title intact? Nope, not gonna happen.

I swear, sometimes I feel like we're living in some kind of crazy, absurd dream where logic and reason are optional 👀. But hey, at least the clocks will flip forward again next year, right? 🕰️
 
u guys gotta get with the times, the clocks flip backwards every autumn already kinda feels like a joke 🕰️💥 but what's really trippy is how women use exclamation marks in emails apparently they're more vocal than men 🤦‍♀️📧 and on social media oysters are all the rage 🍴👀 meanwhile influencers are trying to connect with Indigenous tribes in the Amazon rainforest, like what's next? 👥🌴
 
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