'I tried to capture her inner world – but couldn't': Tom de Freston on painting his wife pregnant and nude

Artist Tom de Freston's latest exhibition, Poíēsis, is a poignant exploration of pregnancy, loss and the complexities of the male gaze. De Freston's works, alongside those of his wife, novelist Kiran Millwood Hargrave, delve into the intricacies of maternal experience and the emotions that accompany it.

The exhibition is a personal and deeply empathetic response to de Freston's own experiences with pregnancy loss, as well as the emotional turmoil that accompanies these events. His use of large-scale paintings, created during his wife's pregnancies, serves as a powerful medium for processing grief and hope.

De Freston's works are not mere representations of his subjects but rather attempts to grasp their inner worlds. "You're trying to get to this figure, or to their unseen internal world," he explains. This introspection is reflective of the artist's own journey with parenthood, which has been transformative for him. His wife's pregnancies and eventual birth of their daughter, Coral, brought about a profound shift in his perspective.

While de Freston acknowledges that his relationship with his female subject – Kiran Millwood Hargrave – carries a power dynamic inherent to the male gaze, he stresses that her agency is central to this work. "Her voice is hugely present in the work," he notes. The intimacy of these paintings stems from photographs taken during their domestic life together, rather than any poses or calculated representations.

The Poíēsis exhibition is marked by a sense of hope and ritualism, capturing the mystical nature of pregnancy and its aftermath. De Freston views his works as "acts of mourning" – attempts to capture something that is gone – yet also imbued with an aura of magic and wonder. This dual aspect of the human experience – sorrow and awe – serves as a powerful testament to de Freston's empathetic approach.

Ultimately, Poíēsis presents a nuanced exploration of pregnancy, loss and the complexities of male-female relationships in visual art. Through his works, de Freston succeeds in capturing that mix of grief and hope, giving voice to the experiences that are often left unspoken.
 
ugh this exhibition is like so raw and emotional i can barely imagine creating something so personal and vulnerable about your own pain but at the same time its beautiful how tom de freston is trying to capture the complexities of motherhood and grief without shying away from his own privilege as a man... 🤝 i think its amazing that he's making space for his wife's voice in this work too - it's not just about him, its about their relationship and their experiences together 💕
 
omg I'm literally feeling so much emotional after reading this article about Tom de Freston's exhibition Poíēsis 🤯 it's like he's speaking directly to my soul... I mean I've had some tough times with pregnancy loss too and to see someone put their emotions and experiences into art is just beautiful 💕 his wife Kiran Millwood Hargrave sounds amazing btw, I need to check out her books ASAP 📚 I'm so inspired by Tom's honesty about his own emotional journey and how he's trying to grasp the inner worlds of his subjects it's like he's saying "hey my experiences are valid too" 💖
 
🎨💔 I think what's really beautiful about Tom de Freston's exhibition is how he's not just portraying a subject, but trying to understand her as a person. It's like he's showing us his own vulnerability and willingness to listen. That sense of empathy is something we can all relate to, especially when it comes to experiences that are hard to put into words. The way the paintings feel both intimate and ritualistic is so captivating – it's like he's sharing a part of himself with us. It makes me wonder what other stories are hidden behind those brushstrokes... 🤔
 
omg this exhibition sounds so emotional ! 🤯 i can imagine how hard it must've been for tom de freston to go through pregnancy loss and now he's putting that into art 🎨 what a beautiful way to cope with grief, and at the same time, celebrate life ❤️
 
omg u no how much i love dis exhibition Poíēsis by Tom de Freston!!! 🤯 it's like he's speaking straight 2 ur soul, you feel? his art is so raw & honest, like he's not afraid 2 share his own struggles w/ pregnancy loss. and i love how his wife Kiran Millwood Hargrave is involved in the whole process, she's def not just a model or whatever 🙅‍♀️ it's like they're having this deep convo through art & it's so beautiful. de Freston says his art is 'acts of mourning' but i think it's more like acts of healing & hope 🌈 he's capturing that messy human feelin' where u gotta mourn what's lost, but also be all about the magic & wonder of life. btw, Coral (their daughter) is literally the cutest thing eva 😍
 
I don’t usually comment but I had to share my thoughts on this exhibition Poíēsis by Tom de Freston 🤯. His use of art as a way to process his own emotions during pregnancy loss is so raw and honest it's almost unbearable to look at. The way he captures the pain and hope in his paintings is like a punch to the gut – you can feel every beat of his heart in them 💔. And what I love most is how his wife Kiran Millwood Hargrave is woven into the fabric of this work, her presence is palpable even when she's not directly in the frame 👫. It's like he's trying to hold onto something beautiful amidst all the chaos and grief, and that's what makes these paintings so incredible ✨.
 
I just saw this exhibition and I'm still reeling from it 🤯. Tom de Freston's work is so raw and honest, it's like he's tapping into your emotions right? The way he uses color and composition to convey the complexity of pregnancy and loss is just masterful. And what I love most is how he prioritizes his wife's agency in the work – it feels so authentic.

But what really got me was when people started talking about the power dynamic at play with the male gaze 🤝. It's true that de Freston acknowledges this, but what I think is even more interesting is how he subverts it by using domestic photographs to create a sense of intimacy and vulnerability.

I also love how de Freston describes his work as "acts of mourning" – it's like he's acknowledging the pain of loss while still holding onto hope. And that sense of ritualism and magic in the exhibition? It's like you can feel the weight of the emotions he's trying to convey.

What I'd love to hear is how others are interpreting the work – what do we make of these powerful, emotional pieces?
 
🤔 So I'm reading about this exhibition by Tom de Freston and Kiran Millwood Hargrave, right? And they're saying that his wife's pregnancies were a huge inspiration for these paintings... but don't we need some proof that she actually experienced loss too? Like, was it just her or him who went through pregnancy loss? Also, isn't the male gaze thing kinda problematic if Kiran Millwood Hargrave is being portrayed as the central figure in his work? 🤷‍♂️ Can someone explain to me how the artist views power dynamics in their relationship while creating these pieces?
 
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