The Cult of Gratitude: Unpacking the Dark Side of Appreciation.
Research has long touted gratitude as a panacea for mental and physical well-being. A daily habit of jotting down three to five things you're thankful for is said to bring about an array of psychological and physical benefits. But what happens when we take it too far? Do our eagerness and enthusiasm for expressing gratitude lead us down a path of self-erasure?
Critics argue that our relentless pursuit of positivity has lost sight of the complexity, nuance, and power dynamics inherent in gratitude. William McDougall's 1923 theory on gratitude shed light on this: while directing gratitude towards another person can evoke feelings of awe and tender appreciation, it also harbors undertones of envy, embarrassment, and even 'negative self-feeling'. The Japanese concept of "arigata-meiwaku" - the feeling of being annoyed when someone insists on performing a favor for you despite your lack of enthusiasm - is particularly telling.
As we perpetuate the mantra of gratitude, we risk overlooking its darker side. This can lead to feelings of obligation and diminished autonomy, as those in positions of power exploit our appreciation for their benefit. Consider Eyo Ekpenyon Eyo II, a 13-year-old orphan who was forced to endure humiliating conditions and racist abuse during his scholarship in Wales. When he expressed gratitude despite the dire circumstances, the British press demonized him as "spoilt" and "ungrateful".
This phenomenon isn't unique; it's replicated in contemporary society where refugees like Dina Nayeri were expected to express 'so much gratitude' for their asylum. Such power plays are embedded in our daily lives. When those in positions of authority become insecure, they often berate others perceived as inferior for lacking gratitude.
Moreover, excessive gratitude can turn us into doormats, encouraging us to transgress moral codes and ignore historical injustices. As the writer Barbara Ehrenreich noted, "toxic positivity" often comes at the cost of acknowledging pain and suffering.
It's time to question our assumptions about gratitude. Focusing on circumstances rather than individuals can sidestep the issue of power dynamics. However, there are limits to gratitude - it needs an expiration date, allowing us to move forward with our lives. By acknowledging these complexities, we can harness the benefits of gratitude while avoiding its darker aspects.
So, next time you're tempted to share three things you're thankful for on social media, remember that balance is key. Let's not sacrifice nuance and critical thinking at the altar of positivity alone.
Research has long touted gratitude as a panacea for mental and physical well-being. A daily habit of jotting down three to five things you're thankful for is said to bring about an array of psychological and physical benefits. But what happens when we take it too far? Do our eagerness and enthusiasm for expressing gratitude lead us down a path of self-erasure?
Critics argue that our relentless pursuit of positivity has lost sight of the complexity, nuance, and power dynamics inherent in gratitude. William McDougall's 1923 theory on gratitude shed light on this: while directing gratitude towards another person can evoke feelings of awe and tender appreciation, it also harbors undertones of envy, embarrassment, and even 'negative self-feeling'. The Japanese concept of "arigata-meiwaku" - the feeling of being annoyed when someone insists on performing a favor for you despite your lack of enthusiasm - is particularly telling.
As we perpetuate the mantra of gratitude, we risk overlooking its darker side. This can lead to feelings of obligation and diminished autonomy, as those in positions of power exploit our appreciation for their benefit. Consider Eyo Ekpenyon Eyo II, a 13-year-old orphan who was forced to endure humiliating conditions and racist abuse during his scholarship in Wales. When he expressed gratitude despite the dire circumstances, the British press demonized him as "spoilt" and "ungrateful".
This phenomenon isn't unique; it's replicated in contemporary society where refugees like Dina Nayeri were expected to express 'so much gratitude' for their asylum. Such power plays are embedded in our daily lives. When those in positions of authority become insecure, they often berate others perceived as inferior for lacking gratitude.
Moreover, excessive gratitude can turn us into doormats, encouraging us to transgress moral codes and ignore historical injustices. As the writer Barbara Ehrenreich noted, "toxic positivity" often comes at the cost of acknowledging pain and suffering.
It's time to question our assumptions about gratitude. Focusing on circumstances rather than individuals can sidestep the issue of power dynamics. However, there are limits to gratitude - it needs an expiration date, allowing us to move forward with our lives. By acknowledging these complexities, we can harness the benefits of gratitude while avoiding its darker aspects.
So, next time you're tempted to share three things you're thankful for on social media, remember that balance is key. Let's not sacrifice nuance and critical thinking at the altar of positivity alone.
I mean think about it... we've all been there where someone does us a solid, but then they start to expect some kinda payback? Like, when Eyo Ekpenyon Eyo II was in Wales and people were all like 'thank you so much' for him being there, but really they just wanted him to shut up and be grateful... it's messed up. And don't even get me started on toxic positivity 
. It's like, yeah, be happy and stuff, but also acknowledge the struggles we all face. We need to find that balance so we can truly appreciate what we have without being taken advantage of 
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. When you're forcing someone to be grateful, that's just a way of controlling them. It's like saying "you have to be thankful for this" when really they should be making their own decisions 
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. If we're all just posting about our gratitude without thinking critically, that's not gonna make society any better 
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. We've all been there, sharing our daily gratitudes online and feeling like we're contributing to this never-ending cycle of positivity 
. But let's not forget that gratitude can also come with a price tag - it can be used as a tool to control people, especially those in vulnerable positions 
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It's like we're missing the point of gratitude altogether - it's not always about being positive or appreciative, but also about acknowledging our struggles and imperfections 
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. We need to create space for nuance and critical thinking in this positivity-obsessed culture 
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