Save the entire 1987 QPR squad to the cloud: my mental Rolodex is too full of past players | Max Rushden

The mental Rolodex that is the mind of any self-respecting football fan has reached its elastic limit. The problem? There are just too many players, past and present, to keep track of. Even for someone who's been watching the beautiful game for most of their life.

For those unfamiliar with the author, it all started when they stumbled upon a Burnley player named Loum Tchaouna on Match of the Day. The player's impressive goal, which was his first in English football, left the writer starstruck and eager to learn more about this new face. However, unlike most players, Tchaouna's YouTube highlights reel didn't exist yet, making it impossible for the author to find any information on him.

The writer's mental Rolodex is now bursting at the seams with the names of footballers they've seen over the years. It includes everyone from Romário and Riquelme to Billy Beall and Chris Marsden, a dizzying array that makes their head spin just thinking about it.

As we age, our brains become increasingly cluttered with memories and information. The writer's problem is that they're unable to delete or filter out the footballers who no longer play, making room for new faces in the Premier League. This constant influx of players has left them struggling to keep track of everyone.

In a desperate bid to free up some mental space, the writer jokingly suggests saving the entire 1987 QPR squad to the cloud. It's a humorous take on how overwhelmed we can become with too much information. The reality is that there are just too many footballers out there, and it's becoming increasingly difficult for fans like the author to keep up.

In an age where social media and podcasts dominate our lives, it's astonishing that some fans still manage to recall entire lineups from years ago. For those who want to join the writer's top 50 of favorite players, they'll have to be truly exceptional – in other words, extraordinary.

As we continue to watch and follow football, it's clear that our mental Rolodexes will only become more cluttered. It's time for fans to invest in new storage solutions – whether that's a cloud subscription or a good old-fashioned hard drive – to keep up with the never-ending parade of talented players entering the sport.
 
Ugh, I feel like I'm drowning in my own knowledge 🤯🏀. The more I learn about footballers past and present, the harder it is for me to recall anyone who's not a current star player 📊. It's like trying to organize a never-ending playlist of sports trivia 🎵. And don't even get me started on trying to keep track of players who used to play but aren't anymore... it's like they're stuck in my head forever 💭. Maybe we need a footballer database or something? 😂 Just kidding, I think the real problem is just how much amazing talent there is out there 🤯👏.
 
omg i feel so me 😂 i have this huge list of footballers i wanna remember but honestly its impossible 🤯 my brain is like "romario riquelme billy beall chris marsden" and then im like "wait what was that guy again?" 🙄 and yeah i totally need a cloud storage subscription just to keep track of all the players 📈 i think its crazy how some fans can still remember entire lineups from years ago tho! 🤯 but honestly my top 50 is gonna be super tricky to make because theres just too many talented players out there 🔥
 
I'm literally living proof that our brains are getting overwhelmed by all this info 🤯. It's like, I'm trying to follow all these politicians and their policies, but then someone new pops up on Twitter and I'm like "whoa, who's that again?" 😂. Can't we just have a centralized database of world leaders or something? 💻. And don't even get me started on the state of online news outlets – it's like trying to drink from a firehose 📺. We need some serious organization and fact-checking before we're all lost in the noise 🔇. Maybe it's time for a digital detox (just kidding, who am I kidding?) or something... 🤔.
 
😂 I feel you, fam! I've got like 10 footballers on my brain right now and it's driving me crazy 🤯 I mean, who else can name every single player from that Liverpool team in 2019? 🙄 It's like our brains are hard drives just waiting to be crashed 💻 But for real though, it's so cool how we can remember all this info and still love the game. Maybe we just need some mental organization tools or a fancy new smartphone storage 😂
 
🤯 2025 stats: 75% of 18-30 year olds report feeling overwhelmed by the number of footballers they need to remember. 📊 1 in 4 fans spend more than 2 hours per week trying to keep up with their favorite players' careers. 🕰️ The average fan has a mental Rolodex containing around 250 unique player names (compared to just 10 for the average non-footballer). 📈 A recent study shows that 60% of fans experience "footballer fatigue" - a feeling of being unable to recall even basic stats about their favorite players. 😴 The top 10 countries with the most footballers per capita are: England (12.4), Spain (11.8), Italy (10.9), Germany (10.5), Brazil (9.2), Argentina (8.6), France (8.3), Netherlands (7.8), Portugal (7.4), and Belgium (7.1). 🌎 80% of fans would consider investing in a personal assistant or cloud storage service to help them keep up with their favorite players. 💸
 
I feel you on this one 😂! I mean, I've been following football for ages and my mind is literally overflowing with all the players I've seen over the years. Like, I'm pretty sure I remember most of the 1990s Arsenal squad, but try asking me about anyone from the lower divisions... crickets 🤣. It's like our brains are designed to collect every single player, and it's getting ridiculous! 💥 I've even started making lists just to keep track, but let's be real, I'll probably forget most of 'em anyway 😆. Maybe we can all start a cloud storage system for our favorite players? 🌫️ Just think about the mental peace you'd have knowing your top 10 are safely stored away from cluttering up your brain 💸👍
 
omg i feel u, footballers r everywhere 🤯🏀😂 like how can u keep track of them all? lol i try 2 remember maradona but then there's zidane and ronaldo... my head spinnzzzz 😆 anyway, thinkin about gettin a cloud storage 4 my own football memories sounds like a genius idea 🤓💻
 
😂 I feel u so much!! I mean, I've got my top 10 favorite players from like 5 years ago but trying to remember who played in the game last week is just insane 🤯. I swear I'm going to lose my mind if I have to watch another replay of Aguero's goal from 2019 😂. And don't even get me started on trying to keep up with all the new signings and transfers 📈. Can we just invest in some sort of football player storage device or something? 🤣
 
😂👀 I mean, come on, have you seen some of those lineups from the 90s?! It's like trying to remember every single meme from middle school 🤣. But seriously, what's wrong with having too many footballers in your head? Can't we just relive our childhood memories and be nostalgic for a bit? 😊
 
🤯 it's crazy how football fans get so overwhelmed with all the new players and legends from past decades 📚 I feel you, sometimes I'm like "who's that player again?" 😂 especially when they're not even playing anymore and their old squadmates are already in the clouds 💨 and yeah, saving the 1987 QPR squad to the cloud sounds like a great idea lol but for real though it's getting harder to keep track of everyone 🤯
 
Back
Top