Men are socialised from a young age that showing vulnerability is shameful, yet this reluctance to express emotions can be detrimental to their mental health. Men make up only 33% of referrals to talking therapies, and when they do seek help, they often disappear as suddenly as they arrive.
Historically, men's roles have centered on work and provision; women's on caregiving, looking after the home, and raising children. This difference in socialization leads men to be more action-oriented and task-focused, making it difficult for them to express distress verbally. Instead, they often act out when troubled, leading to problems such as driving recklessly or engaging in unhealthy behaviors.
The design of therapy services also contributes to this reluctance. Many therapists are trained through a female lens, focusing on talking about feelings, which can be uncomfortable for men who prefer "shoulder-to-shoulder" conversations. Men often prefer group therapy, where they can connect with others without feeling vulnerable. However, traditional talk therapy may not fit this approach.
Men also struggle with vulnerability due to societal expectations of masculinity, which links worth with resilience and control. This fear of being seen as weak or fragile can prevent them from seeking help when needed. Research suggests that male infants are more emotionally reactive than girls but are encouraged to be resilient, leading to difficulties in expressing emotions as adults.
The "go-it-alone" mentality is deeply ingrained in men's culture, making it difficult for them to acknowledge the need for support or therapy. Men often expect immediate results and may view therapy as a redemptive arc rather than a process that requires patience and vulnerability.
Breaking down these barriers requires understanding and empathy from loved ones and healthcare professionals. By offering unpressured side-by-side connection and understanding, men can begin to see the value in seeking support without fear of being judged or seen as weak. Therapy is not about stripping away strength but redefining it by providing a space for emotions to be named rather than managed.
Ultimately, therapy can help men address long-buried pain, guilt, or grief and redefine their understanding of vulnerability and masculinity. By normalizing mental health discussions and encouraging open communication, we can work towards creating a culture where men feel comfortable seeking help when needed.
Historically, men's roles have centered on work and provision; women's on caregiving, looking after the home, and raising children. This difference in socialization leads men to be more action-oriented and task-focused, making it difficult for them to express distress verbally. Instead, they often act out when troubled, leading to problems such as driving recklessly or engaging in unhealthy behaviors.
The design of therapy services also contributes to this reluctance. Many therapists are trained through a female lens, focusing on talking about feelings, which can be uncomfortable for men who prefer "shoulder-to-shoulder" conversations. Men often prefer group therapy, where they can connect with others without feeling vulnerable. However, traditional talk therapy may not fit this approach.
Men also struggle with vulnerability due to societal expectations of masculinity, which links worth with resilience and control. This fear of being seen as weak or fragile can prevent them from seeking help when needed. Research suggests that male infants are more emotionally reactive than girls but are encouraged to be resilient, leading to difficulties in expressing emotions as adults.
The "go-it-alone" mentality is deeply ingrained in men's culture, making it difficult for them to acknowledge the need for support or therapy. Men often expect immediate results and may view therapy as a redemptive arc rather than a process that requires patience and vulnerability.
Breaking down these barriers requires understanding and empathy from loved ones and healthcare professionals. By offering unpressured side-by-side connection and understanding, men can begin to see the value in seeking support without fear of being judged or seen as weak. Therapy is not about stripping away strength but redefining it by providing a space for emotions to be named rather than managed.
Ultimately, therapy can help men address long-buried pain, guilt, or grief and redefine their understanding of vulnerability and masculinity. By normalizing mental health discussions and encouraging open communication, we can work towards creating a culture where men feel comfortable seeking help when needed.